‘If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all’
I remember these words as if it were yesterday, my siblings and I bickering in the back of the car, my exasperated mother trying to diffuse the situation in any way possible. I’m sure, as children, we probably didn’t pay a blind bit of notice. But it begs the question as to why adults don’t heed the same advice.
I have noticed it a lot recently, particularly on social media. Grown adults so quick to judge, be unkind, and ultimately behave like bullies. It stands to reason that this behaviour is easier when hiding behind the face of a screen, but how do these people behave in every day situations?
Only a few short months ago, we, as a nation, reacted with shock to Caroline Flack’s untimely death. It spurred a flurry of ‘be kind’ slogans and messages emblazoned across social media. The most important message.
So why the change? How have people forgotten how to just be kind? Do we really need to be reminded that words can hurt? And they can’t be taken back. The first cut is the deepest, as they say.
And the most interesting fact of all – the people who throw stones, cast aspersions and judge without gaining a full picture - more than likely, they are the ones who are often suffering themselves. From anxiety, depression, anger etc. And it’s not a reflection on the person they are being unkind to, it is entirely a reflection on themselves and their own unhappiness. Positive people do not hold grudges, they don’t get absorbed in the ‘small stuff’, they are not unkind to others. Positive people live in their intellectual mind, they do not get unnecessarily angry or judge without reason. Positive people accept what cannot be changed and see problems as challenges that can be overcome.
When our primitive mind takes over, and our ‘stress buckets’ are full, we are quicker to judge, quicker to get angry, overwhelmed, and to be unkind to others.
How you think determines how you feel and how you feel influences the world around you. What kind of world would you prefer to live in?
Whichever side of the coin you find yourself on, hypnotherapy can help. If you find yourself judging and getting angry without reason, we can help you work on becoming a more positive person and moving into your intellectual mind. If you are on the receiving end of the critics and finding it difficult, we can help you find strategies to cope with whatever life throws at you, calmly and confidently.
But ultimately, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. BE KIND.
Photo by Dayne Topkin on Unsplash